Make It About Them
How to get people to listen to to you? Talk to them about them; and a few more things.
What do three individuals, who differ in age, religion, gender, race, nationality, language, and beliefs, have in common?
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95% of their time is spent thinking about themselves.
It’s either about what they have to do during the day, coming up with rebuttals for arguments they should have won in the past, worrying profusely over what the future holds or at times, all three at once; but it’s most definitely about themselves.
Having the realization that the person sitting across from you is not at all concerned about you, provides a notable edge in effectively interacting with them and capturing their attention.
This comes in handy, especially when you’re trying to create an impression. The more you make it about them, the more interested they’re going to be in you.
I, once had the opportunity to pick the brain of the vice president of a prominent corporation. That’s how I landed on a few tips he used to get virtually anyone, to be interested in what he had to say.
Imagine that the individual you are conversing with is the most captivating person to have ever existed on this planet. More importantly, use words and your body language to make them feel it.
Be sincere in your appreciation for things you have in common and draw them out to topics that you are well-versed with. If there are no common points of interest, listen intently, jot some points down and be ready for the next time you meet them.
As the conversation flows, bring out your natural self if you haven’t already. If you’re comfortable, the person you’re talking to will be comfortable.
Smile and bring your sense of humour out. Laughter is the most delightful way to bond with others, akin to breaking bread together.
Rephrase and restate some of their comments to let them know that you’ve been listening. It’s disrespectful to make the other person feel like they’re talking to a wall.
Ask questions that cater to the experiences they’ve had in their lives. Give them a chance to reminisce their past. Secure people don’t mind talking about their failures.
Remember their names, and any other information they might’ve given you during the course of the conversation.
Find ways of keeping in touch and message them the morning after you’ve met them, thanking and repeating, in a very short dialogue what you learnt from them.
Not everything will work everywhere. These tips… they're not as important as to know how and when to apply them. The art is in mastering the application of your knowledge. —Vice President, Prominent Corporation
That’s all I have for today. Kept it short and simple this time.