Intervention, Interference, Intercession Can Be Harmful For Your Loved Ones
In an oddly true, simple but fascinating story, with the beautiful setting of a busy airport, we explain to you... the basics of letting your loved one be.
We’re a mistake-making, walking-talking, in-flesh-and-blood machines. We can’t do without wrongs in our life and if you think your life is going perfect at the moment, it’s either because you’ve gone through the period of wrongs or… and we’re sorry to say this, you’re about to.
This newsletter is all about positively making an impact in your life but sometimes you must be hit with tough truths that you just cannot escape. This one is for parents, godparents, mentors and guardians more than anyone else.
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A Story For You
Airports are melting pots, filled with people who are haphazardly looking for either their gates, cheap restaurants or if their loaded and a little too fancy, a lounge. It was at an airport that I once had the fortune of meeting a wise, old man. I deemed him wise because he was philosophical in his speech and eloquent with his choice of words.
His advice seemed as if it were coming from someone sitting under a large, old tree. I felt an overwhelming sense of liberation in his company but I recall him reprimanding me as I attempted to surreptitiously jump ahead of a person in a long queue by stating, "Not one person has reached where they were supposed to by skipping steps on the way". Although I initially dismissed his words, I soon learned their significance as I was apprehended by the security and asked to return to my proper position.
We’ll take a detour from the story here. Don’t worry, we’ll circle back to it soon.
Occasionally, children have a clear vision of what they want to pursue in life, while others become rebellious and some eventually find their way in life. Elders play a crucial role in guiding children towards their calling. I have great admiration for those who recognize their children's strengths and allow them to pursue their dreams. Personally, I have the privilege of pursuing what I want and therefore, I refrain from making unwarranted assumptions.
The reason I raise this issue is because I firmly believe that everyone has their own path to follow. Our elders followed a path that led them to where they are today, and so must we, their children. Experience is the best teacher, not mere words. If people learned solely from what they were told, they would never make mistakes. Although there is much to be learned through speech, the problem lies in the silent statement every elder tells themselves: "He/She will be the best kid." This statement marks the beginning of a rigorous process of molding and shaping the child.
In striving to be the best at everything, people fail to understand that they are merely average at everything. No one wants to see a B, C, or D on their child's report card. Nobody desires their offspring to be less competitive than others. Everyone compares their child with others. However, not every child is the same and once you understand that completely, you’re far above the rest in terms of mindset.
Allow your child to stumble, learn, and rise again. Do not misunderstand me - if things go awry, do intervene but not before. Your offspring will be missing out on some magical progress if you intervene too early.
Let me return to my earlier story. Teach your child right from wrong, good from bad, and instill morals, values, and beliefs. Do not try to shortcut your child's journey by intervening unnecessarily. Preventing them from making mistakes now is the same as guaranteeing that they will make them in the future. Everyone reaches their destination in their own way, and their fate cannot be altered, only their learning experiences.
So, as the wise, old man said, “Not one person has reached where they are supposed to be by skipping steps on the way”.